Why Carrots Taste Like S#%?

For the past few years I’ve had the same though in my mind. This one pervasive thought that I’ve based my life around.

Why do carrots (and some other vegetables) taste like a dysfunctioning chemical plant, when eaten raw.

Whenever I eat a carrot, or a piece of celery, the odd tomato, and even coriander (cilantro for you yanks) it literally taste’s like a lab rat’s butthole.

I’ve never really understood why, back in my heyday of internet conspiracy theories I was really convinced that the government was spraying it on crops in order to promote docility in the general population,  or that they were trying to poison us in order to reduce the human population to a square 300 million.

Maybe the aliens were doing it in order to turn our bodies into chemical farms that they would eventually feed on. I honestly believed (most) of these ideas, somewhat foolishly.

Then I moved onto my next enlightenment, the health renaissance. Dave Asprey, James Colquhoun and others convinced me of the evils of MONSANTO ( The Terrifying Government-Backed Association of DOOOM!!) and how the had created this monopoly, created their own strains of GMOs, how they sold pesticides by the fluid tonne (I don’t believe that is an actual measurement) and how they forced poor farmers to pay for it all. Frankly their ideas were good, and actually real, as compared to my previous beliefs, frankly the ideas were great. Wash stuff properly after you buy it (apparently apple cider vinegar works a treat), buy organic when you can, or should (search up something like the dirty dozen, and clean fifteen – I promise its safe).

My last and final enlightenment came last night, on facebook. someone posted a link to some sciencey thing, I clicked it. Turns out I might just have some gene that makes me sensitive to some amino acids in cilantro (I blundered the explanation). So apparently the government doesn’t want to kill me (or not that way) and Monsanto isn’t destroying the flavour of my precious celery.

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