Today I experienced 3 great tragedies. Some old man told me this morning that all great things come in threes, therefore so must all bad things.
My first tragedy was my watch band being torn brutally off my wrist by some thyroid case in a unisuit. We didn’t have a rowing session today so we resorted to basketball. As I am a smaller, visually-impaired Yao Ming, I naturally excel in the court, smashing threes, using the left hand hammer and naturally out dribbling all those who dare face me on my home turf. I jest, I can’t shoot for my life, my passes are on point but I daren’t dribble for my life. I got brutally attacked by this brute who tore my watch off my wrist. A new band should be coming in a few days.
My second tragedy is that I have a huge break in my phone screen after hitting it out of my friends hand who was checking out my tips on how to sext girls properly.
Alas my third is that I got friendzoned by this really hot girl who I’m totally infatuated with. I’m totally crying because I made friends with this guy just to get closer to her and now she decided to friendzone me. I bought her this lovely bracelet with my own money just to propose to her with, she didn’t buy it. I then decided to beat her in every single subject in our prelims, apparently girls don’t take well to being beaten. Ok I’m lying about that one, I didn’t to any (most) of that stuff and I’m still totally in with her (for y’all school readers, it’s not fork-hoe, its someone much more beaut </3)