Paranoia Thoughts Stay Dark

“the quiet stench of desperation” a phrase that seems etched into my mind this afternoon. A focus of this new wave of rsd is basically becoming a better person and cultivating thing’s in life to enjoy, things you’d rather do and things you love. It seems most of these measures are just created to avoid desperation.

If I had to do one of those 3 adjectives to describe me, I would’ve given young Kevin “desperation, desperation, desperation” (well not exactly but I’m trying to prove a point) I was horrible for those sorts of things, triple texts, quadruple texts and so on.

Looking back now at my own actions and at those of a few friends now I’ve formed a few ideas about why desperation is so abhorred.

Firstly it’s the idea of always being available. After a while of texting someone you’ll eventually become bored when they repeatedly text back instantly, you don’t feel like replying instantly because you know they’ll just reply instantly and you’ll have to talk to them. Plus why put in effort to talk to someone who will talk to you regardless, better spend your energy on chasing other leads.

What desperation implies. Always being available or being constantly dogged suggests someone who has literally nothing better to do in life than to pester someone for replies. Someone whose life’s passion is waiting for replies isn’t really worth talking to.

There’s a few more things but this bus rides ending and French needs doing.


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