Last week we watched a film in French, “The Closet” I think it was called? It was the story of this man who pretended to be gay and managed to turn one of his straight coworkers gay, I think, either that or the subtitles guy was taking the piss.
Well I think I’ve managed to do it. I haven’t changed myself gay but I think I have made myself an introvert. I used to be fascinated by this introvert, extrovert thing. Someone who drew energy from being in social settings and someone else who felt drained from it. Over the past few weeks I’ve wondered a lot which one I was. There would be times were I would love to be in a social setting and would feel invigorated afterwards but then times I just needed to leave and go somewhere a little quieter for a bit. I did one of those stupid only tests and it told me extrovert but I think I’ve become more introverted. I’ve found myself shying away from conversations. Where I used to be obsessed with talking to people online I’ve lost the buzz and become rather awkward about it, looking for an exit as soon as is socially acceptable.
Though on the other hand there is an alternative idea I had as I walked to the shops to stuff my face. I was a little puzzled because contrary to my belief that I was an introvert I was still happy with some conversations, usually with people I liked the most and people I’d known for a while, whilst talking to new people sometimes drained me.
It was a scary possibility. The reason I felt drained was because I was expending all my energy trying to impress people. Shock horror. But I think that is the reason, maybe I just need to cup runneth over more and fix that problem.