Lessons can and should be learnt from the strangest sources. Today I finally learnt something from my old French teacher so as to not sound harsh I will now anonymously roast her on an online blog without her knowledge. Basically she’s a mess. Rant over.
Anyway she also takes citizenship which is a class that tries to teach kids how to be global citizens but really results in us all taking the piss out of minorities. In a brief moment of lucidity she told us: “It’s a waste of energy to hold up all these facades in personality, being fake will drain your energy” I confess I choked a little after hearing this, this was Dalai Lama type revelations coming from a divorced 40 something French teacher.
I thought it was cool as hell that this woman had discovered one of those rare truths of life that I had been dancing around for weeks.
Later in the class I had a crisis of identity. After being asked who my true self is I panicked. A voice whispered in my ear “A scared little boy” I hope that’s not really what I think of myself rather just a manifestation of all the times I’ve jokingly said it. Either way I left the lesson in a bit of a funk and needed comforting from an ample bosom, perhaps I am truly that scared little boy who needs his hand held as he walks through the dangerous territory of life whilst he pretends that he is this terminator that proceeds to shut down everyone around him. Eh whatever I’ll allow myself this delusion a little longer. It’s working well and for once I’m liking this trajectory my life seems to be taking. (though I’m still angry that my one friend has been pieing me for a good 4 days and it’s distressing because my text game is straight fire atm)