Last night I attempted to resolve something that had plagued me for years, one of those background things that I realised was probably one of those I would have to go to therapy for when I was 40.
It came and went and I realised i had probably fucked up, gone about it all wrong, I felt it was still something that needed to happen but I fear I shouldn’t have done it the way I did. I feel some weird feeling right now, perhaps relief maybe regret.
Anyway I learnt something this morning as I reflected on it. I realised I really shouldn’t be annoyed by the way people acted. I get annoyed whenever people do things I don’t like, they act in ways I don’t believe are right and do things that piss me off. I wanted everyone to change to fit my worldview and live and breath in a Kevin ordained way. I got disgusted by people living their lives in ways I didn’t think was fulfilling.
Then I realized no matter what people would always believe their own way of life was the best, no one’s able to say that their life is shit, everyone’s at least content by how they live. There’s no way to externally change someone, these things have to be internal.
I just have to learn to live with all these quirks and if they’re bad enough I’ll just drop the person from my life instead of attempting to make a rock no longer be a rock.
Oh and before anyone thinks of reporting me for being depressed I’m not crying in my room as I write this, rather I’m sitting in the changing rooms because I’m far too lazy to do the warm up at badminton.