When I was in France I listened to a shitload of podcasts, so much so that my ears have kinda stopped working properly and I have the theme music for most of them buzzing in my ear 24/7. Anyway one podcast I’d kinda rediscovered was the Savage Lovecast where a very chill down-to-earth gay guy attempts to answer all the hard questions about sexuality and this new wave of freedom in terms of equality, it’s pretty fun to listen to and surprisingly entertaining (though I don’t think that’s his intentions). Put simply the man is just a gay agony aunt for everyone who isn’t straight and sis in the world.
Anyway this isn’t the post where I unveil myself as a queer, transgender and transracial kid but rather one point resonated pretty well. He talks about family member with differing viewpoints and how to get past it, then pulls a stroke of genius and quotes the serenity prayer. Here it is for all you heathens:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Now this seemed pretty major key, who knew I would find such a nugget in this strange part of the internet. Anyway what I take from it is that I need to realise that there are things I can’t change, more things than I’d like to admit if I’m honest, and that I should be fine with that. Okay maybe not fine but be able to realise that they’re unchangeable and not waste my resources on something that has no hope of changing.
I talked a few days ago about my father’s anxiety type situation, for years I’ve tried to fix it, make him what I believe is normal. What the prayer tells me is that I have to realise that he has this for a reason, it’s been around for 40 something years and firstly there’s no way I can change it and secondly I shouldn’t bother changing it because it’s what he lives with and he seems fine with it. I just have to realise some things can’t be changed by outside influence and take it all with good grace and do what I can.