Anxious Oats

So uh yeah vainglory decided to get a new update and there’s now 7-10 minute matches as opposed to the original 20 to half an hour. Problem is with the small matches you’re tempted to do way more so I’ve been wasting half hours at a time, oh dear.

Usually after saying that I would finish with “shit I’m gonna fail my exams” well I’m gonna stop saying that because I’m pretty sure it’s giving me anxiety. There is no conceivable way I’m gonna fail my exams, I’m not that bloody dumb and I could probably get As if I took them now (at 10:30 at night) and had half the time.

So after that arrogance, there’s still a question: why the hell do I bother with revision? Or just doing as much as I do. At some point each extra hour is only going to get me an extra half mark or even less in some tests. If I’m honest I haven’t really got a good justification for it apart from the fact I have exam anxiety, before an exam I’ll always freak out that I haven’t done enough, that someone somewhere has put in more work than me and will do better so I’m forced to revise and its totally irrational, I never learn anything new the night before and the one time I didn’t revise for that physics olympiad I still got the only gold prize in my year (the ego is strong in me) but I have no bloody idea how to stop the exam freak out, though it is nice to know going into an exam that there is no conceivable way you could have revised more instead of freaking out that I could have done more work.

Oh well I’m signing off because I’m tired and wanna start early tomorrow and eat ma soaked oats.

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