10am I really should be revising for my computing test in a couple of hours but I can’t.
A few days ago I discovered Witt Lowry, I put on a YouTube mix for G-eazy and Hoodie Allen and then he comes up. I can’t remember the actual song but I just remember clicking off my revision and seeing who this new guy was. The sound is kinda like Eminem for raps but mellower and more anguished with decent backing music. For the last 30 minutes I’ve been plugged in to this just listening to his words and wandering aimlessly round the house.
It’s strange in not actually sure why I like it so much, one of his songs almost had me in tears cause I dunno maybe the passion got me but this stuff hits me deep which is weird because he raps about kids coming up from the slums of America (totally a thing right) and how he has all these pressures on him, oh well I think it’s the sound of him almost breaking down that gets me.
So revisions a bust this morning, as exams went on I’d started revising less and less not really because I got lazier just because I realize I didn’t really have to revise anymore than I have.
I told my mum yesterday I’d probably be in a coma by the end of today or a physical mess with infection taking over my body and frankly I reckon I’ll be an emotional wreck, it’s weird I’ve forgotten what it’s like to think about what’s happening or thinking introspectively outside this world of my books and butter coffee and I realize that there’s a world out there that I would’ve loved to ignore for a little longer.
God I sound like an emotional wreck but really I’m just sitting on a couch waiting for my breakfast lasagna and chips to finish heating up. Though I am a little morose about returning to the real world and Witt just makes me realize the reality of life and all its troubles and tribulations. God I remember laughing a few months ago about how people could feel some type of way after hearing a song, turns out I just wasn’t listening to the right stuff.
Post script just finished computing and my only thoughts are I should’ve chosen another test to become morose and lethargic before. That was one of the worser exams I’ve had and the only one that I skipped questions in (don’t worry I still did them, it just took a little consideration) but I suppose it teaches me what tests are meant to be, these strange papers that have no precedent and feeling woefully unprepared.
Turns out I don’t need to do the freak out in the hours before, I’ve done enough work beforehand that I’ll be fine and once I’ve gotten past the shock and anxiety of being unprepared I do just fine.