A Little Bit of Margie

I’ll just write some shit down because with my memory it’s sure to last a good 5 seconds and be forgotten by the time I’m meant to actually write it down.

“You’re a caberet, a caberet. Not with a hard ‘t’ like a caber-ET but a caber-ey, an idiot like you” *raps knuckles on my forehead*

“What’ll I do with myself now? What do I do?”

Two little anecdotes from me being subservient to old people today. The first was in a conversation with ol’ George, I would say he’s one of the more lucid guys at the home but he’s a little strange, always seems a little wrapped up in his own fantasies and frankly just seems a little mad (plus he eats slower than something really bloody slow) but he’s a good chap and after I attempted to take off his bib before he deemed himself finished with his tea he asked me to repeatedly take it away from him then hand it back, before then repeating this process with a napkin (clean thank god) before he gave me these sage word.

I include the second one because it touched my heart. Margeret something or other asked me this after I finished wiping down her table, all but one other member of the care staff had run off, resignedly I said “Very well I’ll take you back” pulled her out, tucked her feet into the wheelchair then wheeled her off. I asked what her room number was, “I don’t know, some big number” so thus we began our aimless journey down the corridor attempting to find a room with a big number on the door with the name margeret (surprisingly there’s plenty margerets and big numbers in this care home) but eventually settle upon her door, I wheel her in, flick on the tv and pour her a water before running off in hope she didn’t ask for anyone else.

After monday’s call and someone being asked to leave partly due to me I expected a frosty welcome but for some reason the care staff had completely changed, sure I recognised some from the odd shift but the regulars had all disappeared, true I was going on a Thursday but I am a little concerned but that’s probably the paranoia speaking.





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