The day after you read this (or the after after day) I’ll be doing an English talk for which I will be woefully unprepared. I eventually decided that I would en title my talk “taking risks” because the entire thing will be me taking a risk.
I’ll be going in without notes nor a powerpoint to help me because for one I want to rebel against the tyranny of kids doing talks by just reading a script or PowerPoint and also I’ve done way too much preparation this year to bother doing anymore.
Ok I’m kinda joking, well not really but I’ll do a little mental preparation, perhaps mind simulations of me doing the talk and crushing it and coming up with some ideas. Right now I’m just thinking of talking about the evolutionary origins about why we fear taking risks, how our little brains hate us taking risks and why we aren’t rational about it. Why those who take risks are far and above others and how we will eventually have to learn to take them as you can’t prepare for everything. It’s only gonna be 3 minutes but actually I may need a little more to talk about.
The things only pass fail and mostly looks at oratorical skills which is say I’m pretty good at but I am a little afraid of choking during it. I seem to have this aversion to success which means I can’t seem to go through with doing well, I ruined a rowing race at the last few metres, mess up in piano performances and so on. I’m just a little scared to get flustered and freak out. I’ve spent the last few hours watching kids do public speaking and watching them forget words and freak out kinda worries me that it might happen to me.
Perhaps I can mention this in the talk, the fear I’m experiencing right now contemplating taking this risk. Maybe that’ll make up the rest of the meat and potatoes of my talk.