Called Out

Eddie Huang is genuinely life goals, I usually frown at the idea of kids of my generation saying life goals because most the role models are seriously fucked up but man I’d love to be Eddie Huang.

Firstly his family is lit and his crib is probably the illest thing I’ve ever seen (see me trying to act all hood there) but the man is cool and shit.

Pirating Huang’s World season 3 at 3am in the morning isn’t really what I had imagined my life would degenerate into after exams finished but there I was lying in bed. He turns up to this thing they call “The Sausage House” actually I can’t remember what the fuck it was called but it was literally what America is in a nutshell. Scary old fat men with guns shooting at targets while scantily clad girls just tittered and got paid for looking hot, I’m also 90% sure I saw Charlie Classic there so that basically describes it.

After watching a fat man called LA lying down on the ground and a svelte girl positions herself above his head and squeezes a watermelon juice into his mouth by clenching her buttcheeks Eddie has enough and leaves (fair play, what the fuck was that), the guy who set it all up runs up and Eddie just keeps it real and tells him what he thinks about this weird ass shit.

That’s the kind of man I want to be, Eddie Huang the Chinese Baohaus Panda, pulling shorties, smoking reefer, getting his ass beat and calling out fuckwittery wherever he sees it.

I think what I like is that he’s so authenticly himself, he is what he shows us. Yeah he fucks around but the man loves his family and friends and can drink the French under the table so major inspiration to all us asians.

Finessing here bitches, night.


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