2:00 – 3:00

News just came in, I’ve been kicked from my darling rowing. I suppose I could have seen it coming, I wasn’t taking it nearly as seriously as I should have and frankly I told my coach that I probably wasn’t gonna put it as my first priority next year. So this hour will be me dissecting what happened and how I can apply this dissolution to the rest of my life.

What hits me hardest is that it was probably preventable, if I’d gone to one or more sessions during exam periods I would still be in, commitments during term time was okay and I knew that he wouldn’t be happy that I was skipping every session no matter the excuse. I still skipped them though, I think partly because me and Neb conferred and neither of us went to both our detriments so it’s a lesson to not do what everyone else is doing and do what you know is right.

Whilst one part of me mourns it there’s another side that sees it as a blessing. To continue it next year, and I would’ve had to properly commit next year, would mean I would be doing 6 sessions a week in perhaps the most important year of high school I have. I wouldn’t have known when to quit and I’d probably burn out from stress if I tried to do everything.

I suppose it is a dichotomy, I’m sad I got kicked because I won’t be able to experience it anymore but there’s also an understanding that it probably is for the best that it’s over, nevertheless I’ll always have fond memories of that canal and I’m pretty sure I can still go to weights sessions with the crew so I suppose it’s not totally over.

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