Joining the Group

For some reason among my motley bunch of mates it’s been decreed as cool to be different from the cool kids of the year (yes apparently this blog-writing academic asian kid doesn’t belong in the cool kids) When asked what I like about myself I said “I don’t feel as if I need to do what everyone else is doing.”

Last week we had this seminar about risk taking and the opener was asking what we liked about ourselves, after a few minutes of pensive thinking I said “I don’t feel as if I need to do what everyone else is doing.”

Which is true, I don’t really feel the pressure of social conditioning because I grew up outside of it and with the help of Redbeard and others I realised that I could actually talk to people so I kinda reverse entered the world of socialness and don’t feel the conventional pressures but this post isn’t about how cool I am.

It’s about belonging because as much as I hate to admit it I still experience the same desires as every other human and what’s more human than wanting to belong in a tribe.

There’s a fundamental part of ourselves that seeks to be liked by others, to be validated by people who both trust us and whom we trust, to be protected and to act as protector. In this world we seem more detached than ever though, I barely know my neighbours (who would’ve conventionally been our tribe) and there just seems like there’s more impediments to existing in a tribe than what our ancestors experienced.

That’s why it’s so important, it’s energising and powerful. Hanging out and just laughing with my friends, making shitty food and going around the city messing around is what makes us human and it felt good to feel like I belonged somewhere and I had people who I could chat with about everything.

I’ve talked about this a couple of times now on the blog but that’s how important it is, don’t ostracise yourselves as I did, go out, have fun and make some real ones.



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