Song of the day: Ooh by Jon Bellion (or just anything Jon Bellion if I’m honest – I only chose this one because I like the bridge thing) *just realized you can’t really find it on YouTube for some reason, it’s on Spotify under Christianne Jensen*
So I totally fucked up with the blog anniversary thing, for some reason for a guy who’s meant to be writing a blog post a day for a year I’ve managed to write 374 posts in 365 days, but I’ve still managed to miss about a dozen or so days (as my wordpress reader lovingly tells me much to my own chagrin) but the notification finally came in this morning. As far as I’m concerned we’re back to business as usual on this guy, back to mediocrity and being boring- I joke of course, much like Geordie shore I will return barmier, funnier, more interesting but probably without a tit job.
What’s plaguing Kevin today? Well, Kevin seems to have sunk into a dark and deep depression. He hasn’t really but he seems to have lost half of his brain function, motivation seems to be a total bust and I’ve lost all hold over my unconcious. Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep but I’d say I healed that last night with a champion’s sleep perhaps it’s just actual depression. I made out the previous previous night to be all fun and games but some parts of it actually fucked me up, I had about 30 minutes of ego destruction and got told I don’t appreciate my friends enough, for someone who considers how much he appreciates his friends as a virtue of himself that’s a little distressing. Plus that frontroom talk actually dragged up a fair bit of things I’ve been thinking about but didn’t really admit until I was enveloped in an L-shaped pillow sitting on a windowsill at 2am on a summer night.
One thing was that we hate to see others succeed, we say we love them, that we appreciate them and want what’s best for them, but honestly do we honestly want people to succeed. My argument was that we don’t, why would we? It makes us seem more insignificant and less impressive, we feel jealousy and contempt for them doing something we don’t believe we can’t do. I would say I’m pretty pure of heart but honestly I hate seeing other people do well, judge if you want but as Jesus said “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
I think I’ll start here, I’ve opened up a little but it’ll take a gentle coaxing for this mollusc to emerge from it’s shell of ego.