Sotd: closer – the chainsmokers (huey mack remix) the normal song was too mainstream so I had to pick a remix to balance it out a little but Justin Escalona with the plug and yeah I do like this one a little better.
Another sesh that’s just turned into a night of introspective soulsearching. One thing that messed me up early on before I even got to the sesh was my sandwiching in of friends and being drunk with power.
In this era of comparative coolness for the boy he’s discovered he’s in rather a pickle. His parents will only allow him out one or two days a week (well they say they wouldn’t mind him going out everyday but that is a clear lie) but he has numerous “appointments” (probably not the right word) and so he has, rather foolishly decided to put them all in one day and just leave suddenly between them all. Last week I (I’ve stopped using the third person) did it with the boi rayzay and unceremoniously left him in the cold to gallant off with other friends. Understandably RayZay doesn’t talk to me for a few days. Yesterday I thought I’d do it again, but never one to back down from a challenge go for the threepeat, three solicitations one day. It goes rather well at first, everything goes fine and dandy but then it goes on the snapchat. Everything falls apart. I had ditched doomedwolf and curry muncher because I said I was having dinner with yaboi and I was, but that was my second appointment of the day and now they thought I was lying to them.
I run off to find yaboi for dinner, grab the worst burrito of my life (more accurately I take someone else’s burritto when I had actually ordered some tacos) and have a great chat about life, love and the universe. Grab a snap so I don’t look like a snake and run back off to the third one.
Writing it out and talking through it, it doesn’t seem that bad but for a man who says he likes to focus on a few friends it’s a little overboard. In my overzealousness to be cool and popular is forgotten my core values. Power corrupts kiddos. I was kinda hoping it would all blow up in my face and I would learn my lesson and it kinda did, I did get a water bottle thrown at my head from across the room.
I’ve also created a strange caricature of myself, this socially inept mongrel who can’t hold a conversation for the life of him. Yeah sure it works with people who know you but people you haven’t seen in a while it looks a little strange. I’m not sure if I want to fix this, I kinda like being this strange anomaly and walking contradiction but on the other hand I kinda wanna be normal again.
Julien released his happiness manifesto yesterday and I think it deserves a listen. I’ve only heard a few minutes of it so far but it seems like we’ve all decided we are naturally unhappy and must do things to be happy whereas in reality the norm is happiness. It’s good that I’ve started this early, less time for weird beliefs to become ingrained in me.