Motley Apples

Sotd: too young – post malone

It’s all over now. All over. I’m sitting on an overcrowded train at 5pm trying to keep my eyes open and trying to remember what it feels like to feel happy. Okay that kinda makes it sound depressing as shit but I’ve just been at some training course and yeah graduated. It’s in Birmingham which I dunno not much to say about it just there’s tonnes of kids from random parts of the UK coming around. 

It’s weird to say kids, I didn’t really think there would be that many people under 18 there but in my group of 16 or so 6 of us couldn’t drink so yeah I lost that belief that I was a special snowflake. 

I’m not sure what I’m meant to write about and frankly my brain is fried. My watch really isn’t happy with me, on about 4 hours sleep a night for the last few and yeah everything seems like slush. The day didn’t start off bad but 2ish I just crashed and could barely keep my eyes open during my tests and frankly if I read this back I’ll just be more confused that I’ve ever been. 

I’d say I live a pretty sheltered lifestyle I mean my parents are pretty conservative and yeah Edinburgh is hardly the worst place. At places like struan I meet tonnes of people from all parts of Scotland and yeah there’s tonnes of different backgrounds but this was totally different. 

I’ve met lithuanian Irish people, an egyptian-paki-english and just people from different backgrounds. A taxi driver who beat up one of those scary ass clown people and the nicest guy I’ve ever met who came from a scary tough area of london. 

I sound like the weirdest thing right now talking about how cool I am now I finally associated with strangers but I dunno it was illuminating I think. 

I titled my post yesterday as “preach don’t teach” and yeah the course was basically on marketing. We got 2 days of training with a few company representatives coming in every now and then to tell us why we should sell them. I think I learnt more about selling from a half hour talk from an enthusiastic sales rep than my boring trainer taught me over the 16 hours she had me. So yeah the point of that was just to say that I’d rather you lived it than just said it. 

Now I’m obsessed with the rapper Russ. I raved about him for like a week straight when I first found him and I’m still obsessed, anyway there was this guy in my group who shares an uncanny resemblance to russ (and apparently also to some guy on gogglebox?) and yeah I was convinced he was 30 or so but turns out the guy is 17. Not gonna lie, he’s literally the coolest guy I’ve met. I think this post is literally just going to be about him. Not really though but I thought I’d say a few things. He’s like serious polymath like he goes from telling you about PPI then farming subsidies and nursing techniques – plus he looks like russ.  

A group of us went out for dinner last night and we get meal vouchers, we ended up ordering 20 chicken mayos from McDonald’s and yeah that’s not the point of this paragraph. This woman with us comments about the sad looking guy sitting in the corner who’s also at the training but doesn’t really seem to talk to anyone. During breaks and stuff he always sort of hangs around the big groups and it just seems a little weird. The thing is when you talk to him he’s actually really sound. The only reason he’s not eating with a group or feels like he belongs is because he just doesn’t know how to take the first step and strike up a conversation. Honestly no point to this paragraph but I thought it up so I thought I’d write it down. 

We met a guy who looks exactly like jack black. The resemblance is honestly uncanny. During ice breakers someone brought it up and honestly I couldn’t breathe for a few seconds. Anyway 90% sure young jack is a little on the spectrum. He creates these elaborate jokes that honestly no one gets but he finds utterly hilarious. 

I have clue why I’m writing all this but I think I’m just pretty sad it’s all over now. I left early because Scotlands a trek and never really got a proper goodbye with anyone and its just pretty sad that I’m unlikely to meet these people again. These two days haven’t really felt like two days partly because we’ve been doing 16 hours of work a day but just the amount of experiences we’ve had that have just been crammed in the weekend was cool as shit. Genuinely it’s just drivel now so I’ll end here and hope I regain my lucidity tomorrow


5 thoughts on “Motley Apples

  1. ok i have such a good clown story;

    I’m from London and my best friend was at this guy’s (his name is riddle lmao) party in northwest london (idk if ur familiar but it was in Kentish Town) and this guy is a bit of a twat and he was throwing a party for his girlfriend’s birthday. at like 9, some dude crashed the party and got riddle’s girlfriend to tell him that Issy (one of his friends) got stabbed, but he didn’t care, i think he was on md or something lmao. everyone else was freaking out tho like ‘bruh wtf your best friend got shanked you should probs make sure he’s ok.’ but when they tried to call Issy he wouldn’t pick up.

    anyway, at like midnight 5 or 6 guys dressed as clowns with knives are outside this guy’s house screaming for him to come out, saying ‘we stabbed issy no we’re gonna get u’ and after riddle decides he’s gonna ignore these them, they started smashing his windows and kicking the doors down tryna get in. after a while they heard sirens and loads of people dashed (the police didn’t know about what was going on though like they were called for something else.) and got on buses, but my friend isabelle was upstairs and they were like ‘lmao nah lets stay’. so anyway like half the people dashed including the clowns and the party continues for a couple more hours, until Issy shows up at like 3am and everyone is like

    ‘…I thought u were dead.’ and apparently he had no idea everyone thought he got killed by clowns.

    fun story


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