Eat the World

Mum has this Asian Facebook thing called wechat. On it there’s tonnes of old women who natter endlessly about random things and one thing they love is talking about food. Every time we go somewhere mum always has these places that asian people have recommended online. Most of the places are pretty damn good. I’ve had the best meal of my life at some seafood restaurant in nice that served the biggest and greatest paella I’ve ever had (boccaccio in case anyone cared) and yeah today it took us to some fish and chips place in Howth which is like the nice looking place near dublin. Now I’ve never been the biggest fan of fish and chips and its not because I’ve never ha a a good one. I’ve had Anstruthers in stonehaven which is one of the best in the country and honestly it didn’t really tickle my fancy. Just a bit of fish, covered in a decent batter and drenched in oil with some mediocre chips that are pretty much flavorless. I’ve also remembered another reason why I hate them. I get oil headaches. It’s not my hipster senses tingling at non organic food but my head just starts hurting during the eating of this delicacy. I don’t really get it with much else. Pizza and chips my usual order doesn’t really do it for me either. Perhaps my body just hates the things. 

Plus I totally got lambasted by a seagull today. As I was preparing to get my second bite of beautifully battered cod in (for the first few bites I loved it) I feel a thud, I look down and there’s nothing on that shitty plastic fork. The seagull flies off, moons me then scarfs down its illicitly gotten goods. I run my hand across my forehead and get blood. Now I really hate seagulls. (btw I’m not as hard as I thought, turns out I just bit my lip when the seagull hit me and managed to get that on my hand before I touched my forehead)

Whilst in stuck in this food coma let’s talk about the favourite things I’ve ever eaten. I think the first thing I ever liked really eating was this veal schnitzel at a restaurant near a bridge in Germany which was fantastic even though it was pretty damn basic, bit of breaded meat and some chips and honestly I dunno why but I still think about it sometimes 3 years on. 

I think I’ve talked about this one before but it was in china when we were coming back from my uncle’s chalet thing in the hills in the middle of nowhere. We stopped off in this little ass village and had lunch. Literally it was just these weird fresh dishes with shit they grew locally and these pigs they reared nearby and oh my lord it was good. Still love that. 

The last thing I ate that I liked is kinda weird. Our second last day in china this time round we ended up going to a roast lamb skewer place, kinda like Mongolian shit. Anyway my aunt who’s a eating monster and literally knows everything that’s good (literally she imports salmon into china which costs like hundreds a kilo) but she decides to order a couple of skewers of this thing I’d never heard of before. I grab one tentitively and take a bite and oh my God it was probably the greatest thing I’ve ever eaten. I LOVE roast lamb, previously the best one is had was this whole roast one that you kinda just peeled apart with gloves but this was unbelievable. The thing had all the right marbling, fat and just chewiness smokiness and I was in heaven. We ordered a few more skewers of it and I just sat eating this delicious lamb meat and taking spoonfuls of this fermented yoghurt that offset the richness pretty damn fine. (previously I had though the yoghurt was disgusting but this lamb justified it’s existence).

On the road home after I’d finished feasting I ask mother what it was, I’d never heard of it before. Turns out it was kidneys. My new favourite food in the world was lamb kidneys -im not even mad it was delicious. 


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