I Have No Idea

Sotd: two shots – goody grace. Now I know for sure I’ve done this song before but honestly I’m running out of grade A songs from artists I haven’t already done. I’m not really spending a lot of time a day looking for new music, I’ll accidently discover an artist and just download their whole discography (still in love with that word after russ used it once).

I think today’s story really reflects the tragedies of my life as a whole. We had a human biology exam today and everyone was pretty scared, sure people had told us it would be easy but I’m loathe to believe others on things like this. (I keep getting scolded for using the word exam, class test better describes it was pretty relaxed).

Last night I pick up this nice metal pen that I got from my second cousin or something like that. Actually I think it’s my uncles, cousins daughter, who owns a little stationary shop in the tiny city my grandma lives in. Turns out everyone knows everyone in these communities. If I had to describe it, it’s like a metal bic pen and pretty nice. I decide last night it will be my exam pen and I’ll never lose it. This morning in maths I tell my friend that it is my new exam pen and fret about it for a while. 

I pull it out of my pocket before the biology exam(class test) ready to slay this monster as the pen is mightier than the sword. 

You know when you’re thinking hard you inadvertantly kinda chew on the end of your pen, well I don’t chew I breathe through it. So I’m kinda breathing into the little air hole at the top of the pen. I breathe in.  Big mistake. Some strange foreign liquid enters my mouth, it’s kinda cold and silky. I look at my hands clutching the  pen, theyre now covered in ink. 

I stumble out of my chair, no one really looks up, too engrossed in their exam papers. I grab a nearby tissue, wipe what I can from my hands and spit out what I can from my mouth. I think I’m fine, sit down and grin at my friend. Bad idea. Turns out the ink has dyed the inside of my mouth satanic black and yeah everyone finds it hysterical and the teacher decided to have a minute break during the exam to chortle at my fuck up. 

Though she reassures me that pen ink is non-toxic so I’m unlikely to die. I finish my exam, go to the bathroom after grabbing a friend’s sports kit. He’s a mess who brushes his teeth in school so I know he’ll have toothpaste, squeeze a bit on my thumb and start scrubbing, gargle a bit and spit out this black- blue liquid. Some junior kids look at me horrified before running out to their friends to tell them they found a demon in the toilets. 

So that’s the end of that pen and my chances of ever using it in an exam again. 


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