Machining It

Sotd: the black parade – eh idk who but I heard it once or twice and kinda liked it. 

I’m not sure if it’s just me but the whole world seems to have changed these last few days. Everyone and everything just seems glum and low energy or perhaps I’m seeing occasional occurrences and drawing outrageous conclusions. This guy at a care home refused dinner but turns out that had a reason because he didn’t like the fact that the menus had changed with only a few hours notice. 

I think people like to be in control of their lives, we’re reading Hamlet in class and Ophelia goes mad because she literally cannot do anything for herself and her madness allows her to finally choose what she does. I think that’s the same with everyone. I propositioned this idea to my mum if selling these weird trinket things, immediately she wanted to help, I refused. 

The same thing happened when I went away for training, I was fine that she came with me, I just wanted to be in a separate train carriage on the way there, she didn’t really see the point but it made all the difference. Even the illusion of being in control would’ve been enough for me. I reckon there’s a point where parents are meant to let their kids go into the wild, it’s just hard to tell when my parents will decide to let me. 

I was considering telling them about the fact I’ve drunk before and been to parties for hope that their biggest fear of me drinking would be dispelled but I’m pretty sure all that would lead to is quarantine and even less choice. 

I think I’m just going back to something I’ve talked about befote, wanting to make choices for yourself and I reckon it’s probably the reason why so many teens go off the rails – they just want to be in control of their lives. 


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