Donut Holes

Sotd: no interruption – hoodie allen. An old favourite that I don’t really like anymore I think, dunno I skip it a lot. It’s weird how much I used to like the guy but just gave up on him after a while.

So I finally went to the gym after a month or so yesterday and man am I dead. My legs are pretty shot and for some reason my back hurts even though I didn’t do any back and whatever I’m dying.

I’m still tired as ever and I reckon I’ll try binge sleep but who knows whether or not I can be bothered. I think it’s probably a skill to just be able to stop doing things midway. Like I really don’t like stopping and going to bed but I reckon the 15 minutes extra sleep is more important than 15 minutes revision will ever be.

I do have these habit things I do but I think I’m just slowly bastardising them and more emphasis should be placed on doing them well rather than just doing them. Like for doing my quotes or flashcards I just watch YouTube while doing them and genuinely it takes me weeks to learn them now. Same with violin or piano I just listen to YouTube whilst doing them.

I think the root of all this is just I need to learn to just focus on what’s happening at the time and be fine doing that instead of faffing around doing things I don’t even really like. I would say I check my phone quite a lot, I don’t even know why because in the rare occurrence I do actually have a text I couldn’t give less of a fuck about replying or starting a conversation, or like scrolling through instagram when honestly I think 1 post is kinda cool out of a few dozen and yeah it’s just pointless crap I’m literally addicted to.

Maybe I’ll go on another social media hiatus  but I have a feeling I might actually go mad if I do that.

It’s 8 and I’m trying to get in bed pretty early tonight, need to download f.lux because I need to optimise that sleep stuff, put up a few etsy listings and I dunno do something else beneficial before I go to bed. It’s weird I kinda dread going to bed now because it’s just my mind roasting myself for being a cuck and not very good but I suppose it’ll help in the long run – hopefully.

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