Damn Stairwells

Sotd: do it myself – russ. Will probably scrap the whole song of the day, it was made to show off my cool ass music collection but honestly it’s just kinda annoying and yeah. (perhaps a symbol of where my blog is/is going).

There’s this kid on the bus who’s screaming like a child possessed and honestly it’s terrifying because its literally soul ripping. 

A sudden thought just hit me as I apathetically through my instagram. “am I actually having fun with my life?” I was having great fun months ago but now life just seems like a constant uphill battle that doesn’t really seem to be ending. I think actually putting it that way makes it seem like some prison of castle black from which there is no escape but honestly everything is self-imposed and I like that I can just make my own choices and go through with them. 

So how about this, maybe I’m not having the best fun of my life right now but I’m conversely happy with that because I’d rather be doing what I need to do than do useless things and be slightly more happy in every moment. I don’t enjoy a lot of stuff I do but as some annoying saying says it’s the suffering that makes us appreciate the good things but maybe it’s not even like that. 

I don’t know what I’m chasing right now or even if it’s the right thing or even a thing and this is getting very convulated but I think this is just me telling me that I should stop being a pussy or just because I needed to fill my blog quota.

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