How To Get Fired 101

Sotd: LA story – sam something or other. Found the daily doc playlist on spotify and oh lord is it good.

So yesterday was finally the day – I got fired. Well I didn’t actually that’s unfair on my boss but basically I got kicked out of my place of work. That’s still not how it went but whatever.

I’d always kinda knew that I was a christmas temp that was eventually going to get fired.I applied for a 16 hour job but got demoted to an 8 hour one because she kinda wanted me to come work for her but knew I couldn’t do 16 hours, I think she also kinda doubted whether or not I could actually survive only working 8 hours a week and maybe I would be slow to pick things up so she added a little “holiday temp” thing to my application so she could fire me with no real need for explanation.

I think someone mentioned it at training and I cringed, what if they found out I was only a holiday temp, the shame it would bring to my name – of course I’m kidding but not really cause it was kinda nerve wracking at the time.

The date of deciding whether or not to keep me on was last week and my boss had been talking about it for ages and I would always joke whenever I made a mistake “oh at least you now have a reason to fire me” but I think she really doesn’t understand my humour and thought I seriously meant it and had a sit down with me saying “If I do decide to not keep you on, I’m not technically firing you” which I suppose must’ve eased her concience.

So yesterday was my final day, smashed target broke some rules on selling insurance so I’m totally getting sent to jail, had a few laughs about my ridiculous application and interview, key moments and yeah all that stuff. I wiped down the chairs again as I had on  my first few weeks and it was pretty damn nostalgic.

Then I left at the end of the day never to return, a handshake and a hug and I was gone, never to return.

I didn’t actually get fired or let off in the end. When I was interviewed there were two managers doing it and the other guy took a shine to me and decided to hire me after I left my current store so I’m starting there in two weeks, who knows whether or not I’ll survive there in that testosterone cave but there’s free protein in the backroom and apparently there’s VR porn so who knows, this could be pretty damn good.



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