Sotd: shot down – khalid. back to good old khalid, the one I fell in love with – not the weird song collab he did about colours or even hopeless which eventually warmed on me, just a funny teen from el paso singing his heart out. Young man is going to blow up. He did one of those genius lyrics thing and there’s a little docu thing on youtube that was great. I was right with russ and g-eazy and probably jon bellion so lowkey I should become an agent.

What to talk about today? Kinda stuck in a limbo between prelims and real life. On one hand I still haven’t done everything I want to do. I’ve still yet to spend a whole day swathed in blankets eating a litre of ice cream and ramen and other things that I will regret in later days. I still haven’t really decompressed I think. I still have this weird feeling of holding a really long mental contraction that just takes up my whole time.

I remember weird snippets of last night as I fell asleep, there was a lot of trying to go into a wall and weird contortions as my body tried to untangle itself.

I think I might actually need a week where I just sit in silence in a room and think about everything I’ve done and will do because right now I don’t think I’ve realised what I have done and I’m just kinda being okay with that and going about my day.

I’m loathe to think the answers are in the future but whatever or perhaps I’ll be stuck in this limbo forever.




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