sotd: these days mike stud.
Before anyone accuses me of clickbait or anything of the sort I’d like to point out that this is actually a phrase I used today and something that has been on my mind for a while.
Dad asked me yesterday whether or not I was stressed about work. Not really I said, but honestly it does actually freak me out a little, just trying to beat other new starts and do amazing. My geek is shit and it’s something I really need to work on, but that’s not today’s story.
Today is the story of the worst sale of my life. Basically everything cocks up. The system whilst authenticating something takes about 10 minutes so I just think I’ll setting up his new phone, sure that’s cool. Only problem is he hasn’t even bought the phone or signed a contract, he could easily just leave and I’d have lost £700 of hardware. That’s where it started. The authentication goes through and I go through the deal again. Shit. I’d forgotten that in an early upgrade you have to increase your tariff, I had told him it was going to be £43 a month when actually the only deal he could get was £48, so I had promised a deal £120 cheaper over two years. As soon as I realised this I freaked. I was somehow going to have to convince a customer to part with another hundred or so pounds or I would have to explain to my boss why I had just lost him a few hundred pounds of product.
I somehow manage to convince the guy he’s taking a good deal but he says “as long as you throw in a free case and screen protector.” I hastily agree and close down the contract before he can renege and run away. I realise I’m fucked again. That’s like £40 of product and whilst we can do cashback (pro tip, phone shops will take money off, but honestly online chat will save you a shit load more) I’m pretty sure my boss will rip out my asshole if I charge the store £40. I’d promised the guy a free case and screen protector and there was only one way I could think of to do it.
I walk into the office, whip out my bank card and put the accessories in. With the colleague discount it works out to around £20 and I, grimacing as I typed in my pin, put it through and gave them to him.
I think I’m actually retarded, for some reason I also gave him a free SD card which is technically free because of a 3 for 2 but not really and cost me an extra fiver and yeah there was no point but I was shook af.
I walk into the office, a broken man, explain my story and end with “bet Gerald wouldn’t have done that.”