The Journey

sotd: gary vee at the hustle conference. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been slacking recently and I hate myself for it, it’s this self-loathing when you know you’re doing less than you could be, usually I sate this problem by drowning myself in work until the voice has nothing to complain about but recently it’s become drowning myself in stimulation so I don’t have to think about it.

So I downloaded this little talk then went off to volunteering. I’m pretty sure I almost cried when I heard it, not really just got kinda sad and pissed off but yeah it actually hit me. Not for any real clear reason just this idea that I wasn’t doing everything in my power to get to where I want to go and that terrified me. I break out my phone, delete my social media and vow to kill it. I’ve vowed to kill it a lot recently and just can’t seem to stick to it though.

I had this one thought, working hard is funner than just procrastinating all day. The feeling of being bottomed out, the buzz of new ideas swirling through my head energises me, instead of tv and youtube that just pulls vitality away from you. So I went to buy a bunch of vegetables, gonna try max’s stir fry thing with tonnes of quark, gonna hammer out a few listings tonight, check out life plans, maybe got to Medellin for a summer? And get back into reading, because honestly it’s something damn important.

I’d joked before I took this break that it might kill me and I’ll die old and unfulfilled, day by day I’m throwing off these oppressive shackles but I’ve realised that the real secret isn’t how to get back into the grind, it’s just to never leave it and accepting your own journey.

cheesey as fuck I know but I’m tired and a little mad at myself.

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