Knuckles Down

Sotd: romance – Benjamin baker. In a vain attempt to not fail my violin exam I’ve taken to listening to my pieces on repeat and hopefully this drags me back from the precipice of failure. 

I just pasted whatever I saved last on my phone and it was an incredibly phrase of “interviewer throughout the interview.”. Why this I have no idea and that’s all very amusing. 

I had a chat yesterday with some woman and I tried to explain why I had the blog. “to better myself everyday by analysing what I’ve done” seems like a nice little answer that perhaps is rather untrue in the current situation. I think in the part it was true, I did do a lot of productive stuff with it but eventually it just got thrown under a bus and occasionally lightning strikes and I do a decent post. 

So I think from now on I make it back to the old focus, improving a little bit every day because rough days are ahead and I’ll need everything I can get (very prophetic/edgy movie style there).

I did two interviews this week. One pretty big and the other one less so it seems but potentially could be very big. One was for a bank of England program to join them for a year and perhaps from there continue on. I realised I probably wasn’t actually eligible / it wouldn’t be a good idea for me as I would have no means of applying for university afterwards (though they do run their own in house one) but whatever is rather reject it then just give up. 

I’ve never been incredible at video interviews, I find them disconcerting to say the least and woefully tense. I think I did well-ish I got out what I wanted to say but it was kinda stilted and awkward. The other is for a paid internship at an accounting company that can lead to an year abroad with them. Honestly I had no real desire to do accounting but it could be fun. 

I think things to learn is that if you want something do everything you can to get it. I’m just not being inventive enough in trying to get these things and it just shows that I probably don’t want them enough right now and its annoying to see myself pass up on mad opportunities. So that’s my post for the week, why I hate regret. 


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