Bryan’s Law

Sotd: king kunta – Kendrick lamar

Start of the holidays and I’m in carphone again and yeah today’s post is just about the cool stuff that happens here. 

Some old ass guy comes in, not really that old but seemed kinda rich with his tie that matches the cufflinks. So whatever sell the guy a contract then we’re just kinda chatting whilst the data transfer is running, get into the school part and he seems genuinely interested/knowledgeble to the fact he knew about prizegiving and that. Which is weird because his kids are way older than me. We kinda talk about more and make some small talk about future plans and he mentions that he’s part of this huge kinda conglomerate that supports the private schools in Edinburgh (not my school though) and that they run this scholarship for kids under 18, then the penny drops. We realise that I can sign up and yeah we kinda just burst into smiles. 

So yeah, I reckon I’ll be seeing the guy again. I think in all honesty this is what carphone has really taught me, to ask and receive. When you see an opportunity press on it and reap the rewards. It’s crazy how just enquiring has given me this kickass opportunity and yeah blessed. 

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Prize giving

Sotd: lambourghini tears – Marc goone. 

Rather uncharacteristicly I’ve used an actual title just in case this is one of those posts I actually want to come back to. 

Yesterday I thought I’d check out that new years post I’d written where I set the goals for the year. That’s the prizes done (if not totally achieving my goal of 5, 4 is more than enough).

So this is the realizations of last night. I went out again and dunno just didn’t feel it this time. We talk about state independence but honestly the whole week had just been kinda one long state crash so that wasn’t good and just kinda lost it. I still had fun sure, but probably not as much fun as I had trying to find the way out of these woods nearish my house, getting my legs ravaged by prickly plants and nettles having forgone jeans in favor of shorts, finding an exit to discover a huge gate that was locked before retracting steps and ending up exhausted, itchy and cut. 

But anyway this really has nothing to do with anything, I’ve remembered why I do this stuff, why I’ve ever bothered doing anything for myself and what makes me annoyed. I’ve skirted past the topic but never had a way to put it all succinctly and nicely. So I’ll start it with a quote I saw yesterday that I’d heard before but kinda just forgotten. 

That’s how it is. You are going to have to actually apply yourself and challenge yourself that’s how it is, because we are not genetically engineered yet and we don’t have a Utopian society yet, where shit is just given to you. And if you don’t focus, you’re going to be a broke little fucking loser in the dirt, and you’re going to eat shit.

You have to produce results. There is no excuse for not producing results.

For me it’s all about freedom and choice, being able to do what I want to do with my time. I’ve had way too many times in my life where someone has just told me that I can’t do something and that’s what actually makes me want to do something. Stubbornness in the realest sense. In the same vein is the idea of privilege, that there’s kids who have literally done nothing in their lives but be born into wealth and can do whatever they want, I just want to be able to do that, to be able to do whatever I want and equal the playing field. 

So maybe the goal is to become a billionaire and give a great big fuck you to everyone or perhaps I’m young and foolish and discover something else to aspire to, but for sure I’m gonna make sure I’m not the loser in the dirt eating shit. 

The Digg

Sotd: let’s go – Chicago cubs. Probably isn’t a real song but whatever. 

The last few days have been what I would describe as progressive overload. That is every night I go to bed exhausted after watching way too much YouTube and then the next morning feel a little tired then continue this cycle on and on until eventually I die of exhaustion. 

As Jake Paul so succinctly puts it “it’s everyday bro” and eh yeah kinda. Despite the fact there isn’t really much to do in terms of school stuff there’s still tonnes of stuff to do. A quick search brings up two Cambridge summer schools- both of which I’m away for but the idea is there is lots I could be doing. We got hit by a biology olympiad yesterday that despite being semi inconsequential if you performed well there was an opportunity to join the olympiad training camp which would be sick. 

So the idea is that for another week running im pissed at myself for doing nothing. 

Finished s5 today which is wildin because that’s senior school almost over. 

Run Time

Sotd: almost famous – geazy

I’ve got a few websites that I go on whenever I don’t really have anything to do. Primer magazine, Gizmodo, tech radar and art of manliness. For some reason I always feel weird typing that, perhaps I’m ashamed that you need help to be manly and then the social justice warriors proclaim that okay that we aren’t the paragons of masculinity we were in the past and that in the future the world should be ruled by effeminite non binary females. 

After that long digression the post is about this guy I read about on there, Walter or wilbert or probably nothing like that and his workout. Basically he reached the nfl just doing press ups, pullups, crunches bodyweight squats and hill sprints but this isn’t like small numbers he was doing thousands of each every day. I kept thinking about how cool that was, how cool it would be to do that. That’s something you can say when it’s someone who takes steroids and has access to a 24/7 gym but when the guy only does bodyweight stuff you don’t really have an excuse. 

So I think this is me just committing to do that stuff whenever I have free time because it’s a good way to use it and frankly even if I don’t get to nfl standard it’s just useful. That also just translates into more of an ability to take action, do things you don’t want to do and shut out the thinking mind. 

WWLL

Sotd: good liquor – nick lopez haven’t listened to the one in the while and s/o to Marissa for killing it in that mumble. 

I’m not sure what to write about today, maybe about just doing it all. I think I’ve realised my major gripe with all this higher education is the fact I have to choose, that I have to actually just sit down pick one and be happy with that for at least 4 years. I don’t think that appeals to me, I like being able to take the best aspects from each and do that. Just drawing and designing stuff is as fun as understanding random theories. 

One of my colleagues who I’m convinced is a dumbass pretty much summed it up when he professed how ridiculous it was that we’re meant to decide this early on. I know you can change after a few years but still that is just moving from one silo to another. 

I just like the old way, maybe I was born a few centuaries too late but I like the idea of being a polymath, a lawyer, engineer, scientist and mathematician. University provided tools for one to be able to think, use rhetoric and apply our knowledge and beyond that not much else. That’s what the vice chancellor of Oxford mentioned, her desire to see university creating critical thinkers who could apply that to every facet of their life – not departmentalised drones who will lose their jobs when the robots come. (a bastardisation of her point that makes it sound like a dystopian terminator endgame)

Annus Mirabilis

sotd: polite – clay borrell.

Opening up with a little carphone anecdote because at this rate my life is about to be consumed by all things carphone and honestly that’s not a fun thing – I enjoy it and all but realise that I will have to jump off that ship eventually or be sucked into a sales job for the rest of my life.

Last night in a semi-drunken stupor I professed my fear of going to work today, because today was the day I returned to the toll, working again with the manager that hired me in the first place. So yeah that was kinda weighing on my mind.

It probably didn’t help that I drank more than I’ve ever done (which wasn’t exactly a huge feat) but yeah I finally found out what drunk is, it’s amusing, like that time when I was actually sleep deprived, vision was all funny and I just couldn’t think straight, called a taxi which took a little too long and just slurred out the directions once we almost got there. I was still kinda cogent, couldn’t type for shit.

Then when we got back bunked out, convinced I was going to throw up, then people started snoring so I took the sofa bed, but we hadn’t pulled it out fully so it was this tiny little square that was slanted so I tried sleeping on a slope that could barely fit me curled up. The watch says I got 3 hours sleep which is far from optimum but dunno at work I was still buzzed, one thing I’ve realised is just how effortless it’s become now. I can just slip into the salesman, even sleepdeprived and brain getting bathed in toxins I managed to pull off 4 subs, whilst the other guy who had been with the company full time for years did 1. I think that chat my boss had with me about the reason that he hired me was because I wrote “potential to be the greatest salesman ever” really hit home, I’m excited for where this is going.

Stumbling Off

Sotd: almost famous – geazy. 

With this whole having an awful memory thing it is worrying that the most basic things seem to be false or true. Dreams I’ve had the night before become entangled with memories of the day before and frankly I can’t really tell which was which. Perhaps its some problems that cropped up when I was born or maybe it’s just the standard human condition to confuse ones own memories. 

It occurs to me as I spent a good hour or two watching and playing vain yesterday that I wouldn’t ever remember it. That despite joy I had in watching armada systematically dismantle the other teams before finally being beat by attrition I would forget it all within a week. The only lasting memories, the only things I would remember and the things I’ve built and done, those are forever immortalized within my mind. 

So the only real way to get a life of contentment of what I’ve done is to produce results, not consumption because you forget that after a few minutes. But the results are permanent and always there.