Sotd: lambourghini tears – Marc goone.
Rather uncharacteristicly I’ve used an actual title just in case this is one of those posts I actually want to come back to.
Yesterday I thought I’d check out that new years post I’d written where I set the goals for the year. That’s the prizes done (if not totally achieving my goal of 5, 4 is more than enough).
So this is the realizations of last night. I went out again and dunno just didn’t feel it this time. We talk about state independence but honestly the whole week had just been kinda one long state crash so that wasn’t good and just kinda lost it. I still had fun sure, but probably not as much fun as I had trying to find the way out of these woods nearish my house, getting my legs ravaged by prickly plants and nettles having forgone jeans in favor of shorts, finding an exit to discover a huge gate that was locked before retracting steps and ending up exhausted, itchy and cut.
But anyway this really has nothing to do with anything, I’ve remembered why I do this stuff, why I’ve ever bothered doing anything for myself and what makes me annoyed. I’ve skirted past the topic but never had a way to put it all succinctly and nicely. So I’ll start it with a quote I saw yesterday that I’d heard before but kinda just forgotten.
That’s how it is. You are going to have to actually apply yourself and challenge yourself that’s how it is, because we are not genetically engineered yet and we don’t have a Utopian society yet, where shit is just given to you. And if you don’t focus, you’re going to be a broke little fucking loser in the dirt, and you’re going to eat shit.
You have to produce results. There is no excuse for not producing results.
For me it’s all about freedom and choice, being able to do what I want to do with my time. I’ve had way too many times in my life where someone has just told me that I can’t do something and that’s what actually makes me want to do something. Stubbornness in the realest sense. In the same vein is the idea of privilege, that there’s kids who have literally done nothing in their lives but be born into wealth and can do whatever they want, I just want to be able to do that, to be able to do whatever I want and equal the playing field.
So maybe the goal is to become a billionaire and give a great big fuck you to everyone or perhaps I’m young and foolish and discover something else to aspire to, but for sure I’m gonna make sure I’m not the loser in the dirt eating shit.